Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Can a 2 year old renew your faith?

Hey guys, so it's been entirely way to long, and i apologize for that. There hasn't been happening much over the last few months, but over the past few weeks is a different story. I have had a heart for just writing, and this is the first time i have been given the opportunity to just sit and write. So here we go.

I have been going to a college led worship service on Monday nights, and they are doing a series on healing. Just what the doctor called for. You see it doesn't matter what I do, whether it be teaching my preschoolers, school, my job, a relationship, or just daily tasks. I am the type of person who does it and does it with all my heart. I live life with my heart wide open, meaning, if I have a passion for it, you better believe that I am gonna do it BIG! Now the question is what happens when the thing i have put my heart into fails or falls to pieces or crashes around me? Well I end up heart broken and in so much pain.

I keep asking God why he keeps putting me through pain, and then it hit me last night in Chi Alpha, that's how he made me. Whether the situation on whatever I'm in i do it with all my heart, because that's who i am. That's how he made me. I teach my preschool kids every week that they are special to God, and I am having to listen to my own teachings because I am special to God. I am a very passionate person, and many times when i put my soul into it I get hurt, but it's not a terrible thing, because every time i get hurt, or my heart breaks I get so much stronger. I become a better teacher, i become a better student, a better daughter, a better friend, a better girlfriend. Granted I am nowhere near close or amazing at what I do, but I try my best at everything, and I do it for the glory of God.

So the next question is, how long do you hurt how long do you let something that failed bother you? Well in my life, the things never go away. I will always have every situation that I went all in on, in my heart because it is a learning experience, but I learn that since they didn't work, God has something else in store for me, and it's gonna rock my world.

So I'm sure you are thinking why is her title "can a 2 year old renew your faith?" well let me tell you. I teach preschoolers every Sunday night. We learn so much every week, and the best part about it is, that I get to watch them grow each week, and tell me their Bible story and their memory verse. This past Sunday, i taught about the prodigal son returning and we threw him a party because his father loved him no matter what, and that God loves us no matter what. One of my little kids was singing their songs, and had so much joy, and looked at me and said "ms. Ashlee, i am special to God and so are you" and it hit me, that God does care about my pain, and although the pain might not be just taken away at an instant he is always right beside me, and in a process of healing my broken heart. So a little two year old can renew my faith and give me hope for a happier day!


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