Thursday, May 31, 2012

Daily Thoughts.

So since last night my mind hasn't stopped running about the future......and not one of those mindsets on, idk what the future holds, I just wish God would tell me already, or I hate not knowing.......but rather I am excited about the future, but I know I need to make some adjustment to my life before anything in the future can take place.

So if you ask my parents, the three games I played as a child, they would tell you.... 1. House 2. School 3. Mud pie shop (third one isn't important just funny) 
After we had a substantial amount of rain, we had this shed where momma had her candle business and there was a walk way behind it. So i would make this area a "shop" and make and sell mud pies. We had some bush with berries on it, and so those would be the sprinkles. I didn't get to play it much, but when i did OH BOY!
Okay back to the point of this blog.... The two first things I played were house and school. Since i can remember which is about four.... I played house like no ones business. I would have a baby doll and come up with elaborate stories in my head. My husband would be like my daddy (in the ministry) and I would have anywhere from two to four babies. I loved playing it and couldn't wait till it became a reality. Little did I know when I was four, that it would take awhile for that to become a reality.

So why do I mention playing house? Well because I know in the future I will be married and have a family. (boy oh boy can i tell you i'm excited) I have always had my life planned out (my way) but over the past twenty-four hours, I have realized that God had HUGE plans for me, my future spouse, and my future children. I also realized I'm just 21. Although I'd like to be married by 22 and my first kid at 24, I know God is going to rock my world when I meet my hunky man or finally realize who he is..... and it will be perfect timing. GOD'S timing. I want to be the wife in Proverbs 31. I want my husband and I to live life for the sheer purpose of serving Jesus Christ. I want to marry a man who is called to the ministry (and who loves baseball lol) so we can serve along side each other. I want the man who I can just sit on the couch with and watch the Texas Rangers on summer nights and totally love it! I know people think I'm crazy, but that's one of the things I'm sooooo excited for.....watching baseball with my boo! I want to have my children grow up like I did. In a house that was fun, loving, strict, and laid back. I want to raise my children the way my parents raised my sister and I. Letting us make our own decisions but at the same time teaching us about Jesus Christ. Never holding us back and letting us fill all of our dreams. If I can say one thing about my upraising was that my parents rocked! They never held me back, if anything they have pushed me and encouraged me to fill any of my dreams I might have. I want to raise me children like that!

The second game I played was school. I loved playing school and as soon as my little sister was able to walk, she was in my "classroom". We had this extra living area in our house that we called the computer room. It was a big room and I would make desks and assign Erin to do homework.

ERIN::: I am sorry for doing that to you but thanks for being a trooper!

As soon as I stepped into Mrs. Turmans kindergarten classroom, I knew I was suppose to be a teacher. So at five I heard God's calling. It has never changed. I get frustrated with my major almost every day because the classes are STUPID, but I am so excited to see twenty little faces in my class and given the opportunity to teach them. The most rewarding thing is, I just don't want to teach them math, science, reading, writing, and social studies but I want them to know I love them, but it isn't my love, but Jesus Christ through me. I want to love on my future students like Jesus loved on the children in Luke 18:16 (NLT) "Then Jesus called for the children and said to the disciples, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children". No child will enter my room and not be given love, gracy, mercy, and forgiveness. I want my students to see Jesus through me. I want to teach in a public school in the metorplex (inner-city) , so that the children who don't have good home lives can see Jesus through me and maybe just maybe get off the streets. I will just state this now I will not put my kids in private school or in a place that secludes them from the world. We are called to be apart of the world and so my children will be in the world. "Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it." Proverbs 22:6 (NLT). I also won't homeschool my children because I don't want to be with them all the time :p I want them to see the world and not me all the time. OMG poor kids if they have to see me. 

((I'm not bashing private school or homeschool it's just not my style.))

So why am I writing this? Well for a few reasons

1. I need to stop trying to justify why a guy is right for me. I will just know it when he comes into my life. It will come natural, not forced, not fake, but true love.....because it will be of God.
2. As much as I want to be mommy, it will come and life will be perfect.
3. My mission field is a classroom in an inner city in the metroplex. That's my calling. I am also called to work with inner city kids in a church setting, and mission trips in the summer during my summer break. All that will fall into place!
4. As much as I am sick of the single life, I embrace it and I know that God is going to rock my world when the time is right. I am going to enjoy life and when the time is right, I will thank Jesus for letting me enjoy this stage of life (single living)

So in twenty-four hours my head has been going crazy but in a good way! I'm excited to see what happens but I am going to focus on the now!