Thursday, February 14, 2013

3 Months till Graduation and My Life is so Busy

So far this semester I have been really busy and to be honest sometimes it’s a bit much to handle, but I know God has my back. So let me explain what this semester has been like.
To start off with I am in an elementary school five days a week for about eight to nine hours a day. I am pretty much a teacher, without the pay or name. I teach and prepare lessons, I walk the kids to P.E. and music, and I take them to lunch, and walk them to their cars after school. In all aspects I have become a teacher. I really could ask for anything better. I love this “job”. There are many times it becomes overwhelming and I become very discouraged, but then a hug of a student or one of my struggling students aces their spelling test and I know I am doing what I am called to do.
So let me back up… I am still in college, on top of student teaching I have three online classes and they keep me very busy outside the classroom. I honestly don’t have a life outside of teaching and my online classes. When I just took classes I had my girls with me, we’d go out in the evening, I’d get to talk to people who were over 4 feet tall, but now It’s a blessing to talk to someone over 4 feet tall. I occasionally make it to our college worship service on Monday, if I’m not buried in papers to grade and occasionally to lifegroup. In all aspects my life has been overwhelmed with children and homework. I have lost many friends through this, but I know the ones I have kept are such blessings! My amazing boyfriend supports me and is there to encourage and help wherever he can. I only get to see him on the weekends now and it’s been really hard. I miss him A LOT, but I know this is only temporary.
I know a few are frustrated with me… I just don’t think they honestly understand what I go through on a daily basis. I don’t just put up with kids and teach them. I am fulfilling my calling (God’s calling) in my life. I love these kids as Jesus would. These kids at ages 9 and 10 have stories you wouldn’t even imagine. There are many days I leave in tears for the pain those babies have to go through in this life. If I could have more of a social life I would. I miss my girls, I miss hanging out with friends, but I am stepping into the grown up world now. I am becoming an adult in all sense of the word. I graduate in three months, and then this the life I am living now becomes my reality. I am so grateful that Jeremy understands that and my lifegroup girls understand that, I just wish others would grasp this concept. I am not being lazy or inconsiderate. I am exhausted when I come home, yet I still have so much to do.
 I know people still won’t get this after reading and I understand that I cannot make everybody see through the eyes of a teacher. It’s not just a 7-3 job. I’m on my feet 8 hours a day desperately working for these kids to understand the material…. Yes, plenty of people stand all day, but when you have the future in your hands it becomes a little more pressing matter.  It’s so much more, especially for me. I love these children as Jesus has called me to, and although I’m doing what God has called for my life, it is exhausting! Totally rewarding, but 100% exhausting, the things I see, hear, and deal with on a daily basis is a lot to take in.
So this semester is going to be rough and hard! I am not going to get to hang out with people, friends, my man as much as I would like….because honestly I wish I could all day. I miss them all dearly, but I know God is in control and with his guidance this will all make sense and work perfectly in his plan. Teaching isn’t a career, it’s a lifestyle. It’s a life where you push the pause button and love children who are not your own, but you know that this is the only love they get. You pause your personal desires to fulfill desires of the children to be held accountable for their learning. You pause your social aspects to help one child reach their full potential. I am sorry for those who are upset with my lifestyle changes, but I am doing the will of God, actually I’m in the will of God.
Another big thanks to my family for giving me encouragement when days get rough, my lifegroup girls who just listen and pray for my students, and my AMAZING boyfriend who knows this semester is rough with his busy schedule and mine, but with Christ as the center of our relationship we will make it through it!
Now off to my classroom Valentine ’s Day party….. at least 50 cupcakes, 20 bags of candy, chips, dip, cake balls, and chocolate….. YIKES!!! So much SUGAR! 

My kiddos are so sweet! :)