Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Who guards my heart?
I have had so many Christian brothers and sisters try to tell me they are guarding my heart. It is probably the one thing that makes my skin crawl. I don't understand how they think they have the power to do that. It is defiantly not biblical. I mean how does one obtain the power to guard the most fragile, vulnerable, scared part of who a person is. I'm not talking about the beating blood pumping organ in your body. But your spiritual emotional heart. The one that describes you. The one that defines a person and where work is always being done. How can any human being possibly guard that? The maker of the universe made that so precious, that only he can really see it fully.
You see I have been a Christian since I was eight years old and that June summer night i gave my heart to God. My heart belongs to him. He is constantly working in my heart. I have had plenty of mess ups and trials, yet he is right with me and has been my healer. God is the only person in my life who can guard my heart. He truly has my best interests at heart. He knows me completely. He knows every little detail. He knows the things I struggle with and the things I find most joy. He sees the me, nobody else can see. God and God alone guards my heart.
Yes, people can protect you, pray, want the best for you, try to have your best interests at heart. A few examples. First My parents. They raised me to fear the Lord, to love people, they protected me, cared for me, pray for me, they want to see me shine, and try to have my best interests at heart. Second Men. The last few guys I've had interest in, have protected me, for instance, we were walking on a bridge and a drunk homeless man was there, and the guy grabbed me and put himself in the line of danger instead of mr (the drunk man didn't do anything btw). Third Friends. They see me go though life and are there to love me and support me through it all. Granted all these people had/have my best interests at heart but the bottom line is they have or will all hurt me. Maybe not intentionally but they will because they are human. God however will never hurt me. Never abandon me. Humans can't do that so in that case they cannot guard another persons heart. Only God can do that.
Now understand this. I get the fact that a person would want to have your best interest at heart, to protect you, to pray for you, and to live for you. That is an amazing quality to have in family, friends, your main squeeze, but please know that someday they will hurt you, disappoint you, leave you. Not on purpose but because we are human and we are going to mess up. The person who will never leave, hurt, or abandon you is God, and he is the only one who can protect your heart.
Verses for reference::
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7
Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth. Malachi 2:15
This is what the lord says: "Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who draws strength from mere flesh and whose heart turns away from the lord. Jeremiah 17:5
When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Psalm 73:21-24
for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones. Proverbs 2:8
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Hey guys, so it's been entirely way to long, and i apologize for that. There hasn't been happening much over the last few months, but over the past few weeks is a different story. I have had a heart for just writing, and this is the first time i have been given the opportunity to just sit and write. So here we go.
I have been going to a college led worship service on Monday nights, and they are doing a series on healing. Just what the doctor called for. You see it doesn't matter what I do, whether it be teaching my preschoolers, school, my job, a relationship, or just daily tasks. I am the type of person who does it and does it with all my heart. I live life with my heart wide open, meaning, if I have a passion for it, you better believe that I am gonna do it BIG! Now the question is what happens when the thing i have put my heart into fails or falls to pieces or crashes around me? Well I end up heart broken and in so much pain.
I keep asking God why he keeps putting me through pain, and then it hit me last night in Chi Alpha, that's how he made me. Whether the situation on whatever I'm in i do it with all my heart, because that's who i am. That's how he made me. I teach my preschool kids every week that they are special to God, and I am having to listen to my own teachings because I am special to God. I am a very passionate person, and many times when i put my soul into it I get hurt, but it's not a terrible thing, because every time i get hurt, or my heart breaks I get so much stronger. I become a better teacher, i become a better student, a better daughter, a better friend, a better girlfriend. Granted I am nowhere near close or amazing at what I do, but I try my best at everything, and I do it for the glory of God.
So the next question is, how long do you hurt how long do you let something that failed bother you? Well in my life, the things never go away. I will always have every situation that I went all in on, in my heart because it is a learning experience, but I learn that since they didn't work, God has something else in store for me, and it's gonna rock my world.
So I'm sure you are thinking why is her title "can a 2 year old renew your faith?" well let me tell you. I teach preschoolers every Sunday night. We learn so much every week, and the best part about it is, that I get to watch them grow each week, and tell me their Bible story and their memory verse. This past Sunday, i taught about the prodigal son returning and we threw him a party because his father loved him no matter what, and that God loves us no matter what. One of my little kids was singing their songs, and had so much joy, and looked at me and said "ms. Ashlee, i am special to God and so are you" and it hit me, that God does care about my pain, and although the pain might not be just taken away at an instant he is always right beside me, and in a process of healing my broken heart. So a little two year old can renew my faith and give me hope for a happier day!