Isaiah 52:7 - one week from Peru

This time next week I will be double checking my bags and getting ready to head to Peru the following morning. I have been waiting to go back to that country since I left it in January of 2010. The country is so beautiful and so welcoming to others. The area we go to work, is by no means the richest or well off place, in fact you will walk to local bodega (store) with trash on the side of the road in excess amounts. The children run around the small town barefoot with the biggest smiles on their faces. When driving around Peru you see colorful buildings, graffiti, trash, smiles, laughter, and a whole side of a culture we as Americans can't even begin to imagine. I miss the sounds of the horns as the taxis speed around each other, ignoring any traffic sign. The smell of sweet ahi de gallina and inca cola. I miss the sound of a different language as you walk through the town. I miss the peace that comes from no electricity we can use besides lights (because our wattage and theirs is different) I miss no technology and you have so much time to just reflect on what God is doing in the country, your circle you live in, and yourself!

So i just described my paradise on earth. I for sure do not need a fancy house/car/money. I love how the Peruvians live. I love the fact that being (hopefully eventually living) in a 3rd world country can be so rewarding. The thing is I don't go there for just kicks, I go there to work for my Lord, Jesus Christ. We work at a Baptist camp fixing it up to use for the hundreds of people it has coming through its door each year. The camp was fully funded, but 10 years ago all funding was cut completely and because of that the camp fell apart. A new camp coordinator stepped in and slowly the camp is being repaired. We also raise enough money so the orphanage children, that live about 15 minutes from the camp, can go and hear about Jesus. For most it's the first time they hear about him because it is a state run orphanage. We got to spend a little bit of time with the kids last time, and my heart opened wide open and broke because these kids never know what it is like to be loved by parents. They have a "house mom" but it's not the person who raises you to love the Lord. I so take my parents for granted. The smiles they had on their faces are smile I will NEVER forget. I'm praying we get to go again! (i've learned father abraham and jesus loves me in spanish to sing with them!!)


So i know you're probably going, Ashlee! Really? Enough already get to the point. Our theme this year is Isaiah 52:7, it's on our t-shirts so we don't forget. It reads “How beautiful on the mountains, are the feet of the messenger who brings good news, the good news of peace and salvation, the news that the God of Israel[b] reigns!"
It's also in Romans 10:15 "And who will go without being sent, that is why the scripture says, how beautiful are the feet of the messengers who bring the good news". When we are in Peru we don't get a whole lot of one on one time with the locals, but what we do get to do is plant seeds for somebody (the camp staff) to spread the word of Jesus. If we couldn't help rebuild the camp, they wouldn't be in a situation to be able to tell others. Our job in one week is to plant a seed. We are going to plant a seed in the conference center, so they can have Baptist pastors come and meet about what they can do to help spread the word. We get to be the feet to help more feet come and light the way. It's awesome how it works. It's so worth it.

So in one week, 7 days, 168 hours, 10,080 minutes, 604,800 seconds a team of 15 people will venture to Peru and get to do some work! It's the best thing I could imagine doing with my summer. So please pray for us as we go. We are excited and ready! (Plus it's like 100 plus here and there is a whole whopping 70 degrees! haha sucka!!)

Please pray for

Sam, Josh, Farley, Jill, Vicki, Noelia, Evan, Kimberly, Kayla, Maycie, Macy, Lexis, Reagen, Noah, and myself as we head out on the 21st! Thank you! :)






this one is one that the camp made for my church the last time we went



i found this one on youtube and cried the whole time. it's a good one


another great one! this is close to the area we are working, about 40 minutes from the camp.

Who Guards Your Heart???

Who guards my heart?
  

I have had so many Christian brothers and sisters try to tell me they are guarding my heart. It is probably the one thing that makes my skin crawl. I don't understand how they think they have the power to do that. It is defiantly not biblical. I mean how does one obtain the power to guard the most fragile, vulnerable, scared part of who a person is. I'm not talking about the beating blood pumping organ in your body. But your spiritual emotional heart. The one that describes you. The one that defines a person and where work is always being done. How can any human being possibly guard that? The maker of the universe made that so precious, that only he can really see it fully. 

You see I have been a Christian since I was eight years old and that June summer night i gave my heart to God. My heart belongs to him. He is constantly working in my heart. I have had plenty of mess ups and trials, yet he is right with me and has been my healer. God is the only person in my life who can guard my heart. He truly has my best interests at heart. He knows me completely. He knows every little detail. He knows the things I struggle with and the things I find most joy. He sees the me, nobody else can see. God and God alone guards my heart. 

Yes, people can protect you, pray, want the best for you, try to have your best interests at heart. A few examples. First My parents. They raised me to fear the Lord, to love people, they protected me, cared for me, pray for me, they want to see me shine, and try to have my best interests at heart. Second Men. The last few guys I've had interest in, have protected me, for instance, we were walking on a bridge and a drunk homeless man was there, and the guy grabbed me and put himself in the line of danger instead of mr (the drunk man didn't do anything btw). Third Friends. They see me go though life and are there to love me and support me through it all. Granted all these people had/have my best interests at heart but the bottom line is they have or will all hurt me. Maybe not intentionally but they will because they are human. God however will never hurt me. Never abandon me. Humans can't do that so in that case they cannot guard another persons heart. Only God can do that. 

Now understand this. I get the fact that a person would want to have your best interest at heart, to protect you, to pray for you, and to live for you. That is an amazing quality to have in family, friends, your main squeeze, but please know that someday they will hurt you, disappoint you, leave you. Not on purpose but because we are human and we are going to mess up. The person who will never leave, hurt, or abandon you is God, and he is the only one who can protect your heart. 


Verses for reference::

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:7

Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth. Malachi 2:15

This is what the lord says: "Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who draws strength from mere flesh and whose heart turns away from the lord.  Jeremiah 17:5

When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Psalm 73:21-24

for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones.  Proverbs 2:8

Can a 2 year old renew your faith?

Hey guys, so it's been entirely way to long, and i apologize for that. There hasn't been happening much over the last few months, but over the past few weeks is a different story. I have had a heart for just writing, and this is the first time i have been given the opportunity to just sit and write. So here we go.

I have been going to a college led worship service on Monday nights, and they are doing a series on healing. Just what the doctor called for. You see it doesn't matter what I do, whether it be teaching my preschoolers, school, my job, a relationship, or just daily tasks. I am the type of person who does it and does it with all my heart. I live life with my heart wide open, meaning, if I have a passion for it, you better believe that I am gonna do it BIG! Now the question is what happens when the thing i have put my heart into fails or falls to pieces or crashes around me? Well I end up heart broken and in so much pain.

I keep asking God why he keeps putting me through pain, and then it hit me last night in Chi Alpha, that's how he made me. Whether the situation on whatever I'm in i do it with all my heart, because that's who i am. That's how he made me. I teach my preschool kids every week that they are special to God, and I am having to listen to my own teachings because I am special to God. I am a very passionate person, and many times when i put my soul into it I get hurt, but it's not a terrible thing, because every time i get hurt, or my heart breaks I get so much stronger. I become a better teacher, i become a better student, a better daughter, a better friend, a better girlfriend. Granted I am nowhere near close or amazing at what I do, but I try my best at everything, and I do it for the glory of God.

So the next question is, how long do you hurt how long do you let something that failed bother you? Well in my life, the things never go away. I will always have every situation that I went all in on, in my heart because it is a learning experience, but I learn that since they didn't work, God has something else in store for me, and it's gonna rock my world.

So I'm sure you are thinking why is her title "can a 2 year old renew your faith?" well let me tell you. I teach preschoolers every Sunday night. We learn so much every week, and the best part about it is, that I get to watch them grow each week, and tell me their Bible story and their memory verse. This past Sunday, i taught about the prodigal son returning and we threw him a party because his father loved him no matter what, and that God loves us no matter what. One of my little kids was singing their songs, and had so much joy, and looked at me and said "ms. Ashlee, i am special to God and so are you" and it hit me, that God does care about my pain, and although the pain might not be just taken away at an instant he is always right beside me, and in a process of healing my broken heart. So a little two year old can renew my faith and give me hope for a happier day!

:)

Be Still vs. Do Nothing

The first part of Psalm 46:10 says, "Be still and no that I am God..."

What does that mean to you? I'm gonna get on my soap box for this one. Sorry if I offend you. I have heard so many of my college friends saying "I am just going to sit and let God work." or one of my favorites "God just needs me to wait and do nothing like the verse when it says be still"...... SERIOUSLY?

God has called us to go and make disciples. Carry his word to the ends of the Earth. Tell everybody we come in contact with about him, and love his people like crazy.

And YES God has called us to be still and recognize his greatness. When I look at the first part of this verse, here is how I read it (You can see it differently, just my opinion) When He says be still, it means in everything you do on this Earth, realize that you are serving a mighty God. We serve a mighty God, and so often as Christians we like to take the credit. But it's not about us. He wants us to breath while we work and see how awesome he is.

EXAMPLE:: Josh Hamilton (center fielder for the Rangers) he plays 9 innings straight. When he isn't on the field he's in the dugout getting ready for his spot in the lineup to go bat. Now lets say. Josh never got a break. He played defense then ran and didn't get a break and went straight to batting, then he never left the bases and three outs later he was back out on the field. Okay he would be exhausted if he did that three innings. When he gets off the field and into the dugout, the guys have water, seeds, Gatorade, and whatever else they need to relax from the game for a few minutes. Then it's game time again, and he does it again.

Our lives are very similar. We need a water break from the game we are playing (life) So God has asked us to be still for a second and realize we are playing for a bigger being than ourselves.


So many Christians take this verse and think they aren't to work or do anything. That God will provide everything they need, as long as they just sit. A friend told me a story, that they had a friend who didn't work, yet needed the money to get home, so he asked God for the money, while in reality this guy hasn't done squat nothing to deserve it.

It is important for us to realize that being still and doing nothing are two totally different things. We are called to LIVE on this Earth, but while we LIVE we need to have a short time-out and realize who we are living for. Doing nothing does not glorify the kingdom but being still does!

So challenge:: Don't do nothing. Do something and while doing something take time to praise and realize the mighty God we serve.

Long time no talk

So I haven't blogged in forever, and now just seemed like a perfect time. In my life I have been dealing with two major things....my future and my self-esteem. I have been doing a lot more praying and more listening to God. God has placed amazing people in my life who have guided me a heck of a lot this semester. So I'm gonna discuss those two points tonight.


FUTURE::
I have been picturing my future a lot nowadays. I am real close to being 20, two years from being done with school, and things are starting to race through my mind. For instance. When is Mr. Right gonna show up, do i want to teach high school or elementary, do i want to work with a youth group or with children's ministries, and when am i gonna find out all these answers. My mind has been really busy. I have always had my life planned out. I knew when i wanted to get married, have kids, start teaching, work in the church. I have had my life planned out.
But God has had other plans. He has put me in an awesome church, where I get to lead sweet little ones and teach them about Jesus. He has changed my mind about teaching, and he hasn't placed Mr. right in my life, given me different opportunities to serve him, and opened up doors into Africa.

So what i have learned is that this life is not mine. I am not living for me, but for my King. I have had to realize that in the past two months. It's been a long journey but a good one. This life i live is not mine, and when God is ready for me to make my next step, he'll guide me through it, but until then i have to be patient and just love and serve Him.


Self-Esteem::
Looking back at my past, I haven't chosen the best guys to date. They have effected how I see myself, and I hate to say I let a guy control me, but I have. They have dug in my brain, and made me think I am not beautiful. But I have had to slap myself in the face a few times, and realize that what they have done to me or said to me does not make me ugly or not worthy. My God made me beautiful he made us all beautiful. I have put a verse on my sink mirror and I read it daily, and it says I am fearfully and wonderfully made. God made me wonderful. Now granted, there are people who take their "beauty" to an extreme, but there is not problem walking around and feeling good about yourself. I still don't think highly of myself, and think it's gonna take a lot of work, because lots of damage has been done, but in due time I think i'll get there. So this part is a MAJOR work in process.


CHALLENGE::

When you are worried about your future......RELAX and let God love you. He has and knows the big picture for us. And when you look in the mirror and don't like what you see.......know that God made you. The KING of the WORLD made you. Creator of all made you. And you are BEAUTIFUL!

Both these things nag on me daily. I am a person who is very structured and I want to know exactly whats next in my life, and so the future part is hard for me to let go of. And I have to realize nobody on this earth can change the fact that God made me and I am wonderfully made!

Hope you are ready for the Christmas Break! Love you all! :)

Be my Strength when I am weak.

So I have been extremely stressed/upset/sad/angry...anything but happy lately. I have been just a mess lately. My life has been turned upside down and back again since last Saturday, and I have really been confused. So for the first time I realized I had no control (that kills me). I realize I can only do so much until I have made the situation worse than it was. So i got down on my knees and prayed. The problem with that was, the way I wanted my prayer to be answered wasn't. It was the total opposite, and to this day I am sitting here wondering why in the world he chose this living situation for me. I know my answer will come, and he will use me for his glory, but right now i'm so....blah. I can't explain to you the nights I've cried myself to sleep or just the occasional song that brings me to tears.

So moral of that story. It's when we hit rock bottom, when you think things can't get worse, and you are just in a spot of dismay, turn to Jesus. Although I have no earthly idea why my prayer was answered the other way, and am not too happy with it, I know I serve a mighty God, who is bigger than this problem, and will be my strength.

The one verse that I have found extremely helpful during this time is "Don't worry about anything, instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done." -Philippians 4:6

Patience

Patience, is a word I think we all hate. It tells us to wait, it tells us to relax, it tells us to trust in something other than ourselves. I personally have a huge problem with patience.
I have a life plan for myself. And i'm gonna go ahead and explain it to you.
-graduate college and find mr. right
-work for a couple years
-start a family (be a stay at home mom)
-start working again when my kids are all in school
-travel when my kids graduate

That's an outline, each one is very specific and i have poured many thoughts into each one. The problem is, is that it is MY plan. Yes I do everything, or try to do everything for the power of God, but however; this is on my ideas. Psalms 75:2a says "God says, "At the time I have planned..." I love that, because it tells me one thing very specifically that it's HIS time not mine. So i am learning to have patience. To put my plan aside and trust in HIS plan, because obviously it's a lot better than mine.

So challenge: Are you being patient?