Jambo Yall!

Jambo yall! I am home from Kenya, unfortunately. I can honestly say I'd much rather be in Kenya than back here in the states. God did a number on my heart while in Kenya and I'd like to share my trip with you and the things God showed me....

Chumba

I'm not sure where to start, but I think the best way to start it is, I am answering God's plan. I have been called to missions since I was 10 years old, and Africa has always been on my heart. I have been to South America twice and I thought that was the plan, but then God opened up a door to Africa, specifically Kenya.

The moment I signed up for the trip, money started pouring in and my entire trip was paid for in a matter of months. Nothing came out of pocket for this trip. (I knew that was a gift from God). To top it off it was to work with children (i love children)!! I was so excited and was ready to go months before the trip....

I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. -1 Samuel 1:27 

Thursday/Friday: We left DFW to head to Kenya..... approximately 19 hours in a plane... 6 hours of layovers...disgusting plane food.... throwing up on a plane......but eventually arriving in the beautiful country of Kenya. Once I stepped foot in Kenya, I knew I was right in the midst of God's plane for my life.

Saturday: We woke up from about a four hour sleep and missed our plane to Eldoret. Luckily the team from Artesia New Mexico made theirs. We had to wait three hours before loading buses to head to Kitale (8 hours in a bus).... that wouldn't be so bad, if the roads weren't so terrible. By the end I was so car sick, but knew it would be worth it... I went to bed early that night, but was so pumped about church the next morning. We stayed in Karibuni Lodge. It was beautiful and Theresa was such an amazing hostess.

Sunday: My favorite day by far!!! We drove to Mattaw and as soon as we got there we were greeted by the children. They sang to us and welcomed us with a parade. We walked into church and let me just tell you folks..... we are doing church wrong. We sang a couple songs, like we'd do in America, then Baba Bud told us to move the chairs.... I was like WHAT!? So the chairs were moved and the drums were brought out and we danced for about a hour and a half. Then Kim and Bud preached and one of the house dads.... all together church lasted about 2 and a half hours, but you wouldn't have known it. I cried from the moment I walked in till I walked out. Spirit (God, but the Kenyans say Spirit) was there and working BIG time. I remember being so in awe of the children and their love for the Lord. At one point they prayed, and during this prayer I almost had to sit down because of the amount of emotions running through my body. 67 children, 8 house parents, numerous volunteers and staff were all praying out loud in Swahili and English........ DANG! That's whats up! From a distance I saw the little girl I had been praying for, for a month. She was being held by a guy from New Mexico... I went and asked if I could hold her, I felt bad because I didn't give her up much the rest of my time there..... but the moment she was in my arms,  I felt God assure me that she was going to be okay in this life. Here are some pictures from Sunday.

Meet Noah

church

Bud preaching

choir

Kimberly preaching

House Dad Preaching

Baby Blessing

Blessing

Silly girl

House three family

Chumba and Claire

Monday: We spent the whole day at Mattaw. I got to spend some quality time with Mama Grace, who poured words of wisdom in my life. We just loved on the kids all day... It was very relaxed and we had a blast. I think it was on Monday when God started stirring my heart....

how they sweep

mopping

my best friend....Emmanuel

getting my hair braided!

Our Mattaw Family

Abbey, the house three girls, and myself

our babies

Tuesday: Was probably the hardest day...... We went to a Rescue Center and it broke my heart. We walked in to see children without pants, holes in their clothes, malnourished, and scared. I believe these children needed the love the most. Once they got attached to someone they didn't let go. My fingers hurt from how tight they grabbed on. At one point, I had to walk away because I could no longer hold my tears in.... Caleb asked me if I was awesome, and I thought..yeah I am awesome, because God is showing me where he needs me. I remember just loving those babies so tight... Leaving was so hard because you had to pry their little hands off your neck and it broke my heart. Please pray for them.... they come to the rescue center straight off the street. Some will go back to their homes, others will stay there, and some will be placed in an orphanage. We went back to the orphanage after the rescue center to do VBS with the kiddos!

The girls showers

The toilet

Can last a family of 3 for one month

Foot eaten by jiggers.

Jiggers are a flea that buries into a foot and lays eggs . They have to be cut out of the foot and then the foot has to be placed in a cleaning liquid. 

Caleb trying to figure out what children had more than one sucker! haha

This is Kevin who desperately longs to go to school, but secondary school in Kenya isn't free, and there is no money for him to go.... A few men on our team are trying to get him to secondary school.

My awesome helpers! Daniel and David. They helped translate for the smaller kids!

Wednesday: We went to a primary school of 600 kids. It was a bit overwhelming. I got asked to lead worship and teach them some songs. They were quick learners but my throat was not too happy with me. We had a blast though! Then we went back to Mattaw to do VBS with the children.

Grades one and two

Future teacher at a Kenyan school!! SO COOL!

leading worship 

Wednesday was also one of the saddest days of my life......I had to tell those sweet babies good bye. It was my biggest nightmare. I cried like a baby, but so grateful I had a chance to meet those sweet babies and amazing adults! 

This is Mama Grace.  A lady who impacted my life so big! She helped me realize God's plan. She spoke words of wisdom and knew I needed to be slapped a couple of times with words of wisdom. She is an amazing woman! 

House three kids

boys room

girls room

Thursday/Friday/Saturday: Were fun days where we went on Safari and headed home... Check the Facebook for pictures there....

To sum up my week in Kenya in one word is OBEDIENT. I have to be obedient to God's call in my life. I know he is calling me back there. He wants me to serve him and the children of Kenya. I am praying for more clarity but as of right now, I know that I will most likely be spending next summer there. It is a scary thought to collect the funds and find a place to live for 3 months in Kenya, but I know that if it is God's will then God will equip me. God equips the called. My heart longs to be back in Kenya so bad. It longs to hold baby Blessing and to play with baby Chumba! My heart longs to sing with the children and to visit with Mama Grace. Thank you to anyone and everyone who sent me to Kenya! You are a huge part of what God is doing there!! Here are some pictures of the children. Thank you for reading this! Love to all!

 Here are some random pictures from the trip! Enjoy!

Caleb getting the car ready

My bed for the week! I want a mosquito net!

on the streets in Kitale!! :D

streets of Kitale

At the equator

the girls!

Girls and David on Safari

On Safari

SIMBA!

Baboons!

My friend David!

On the Safari!

Coolest car in Kenya! I didn't drive it! Just a picture!

Godly Men > Christian Boys

"Can I say something to young ladies here? I 'm trying to pick my words carefully here. Your husband, whoever he is, single ladies, will have an unbelievable amount of influence over your sons and daughters in regards to spiritual things. If you want your children to love Jesus deeply, hold out for a man that is Godly. And let me tell you this: I am well aware that Godly men are rare. Lots of neat Christian boys, not a lot of Godly men. And we're working our tails off for you to try to develop someone into that. But don't settle, because it's better that you be lonely now than you be married and lonely later. Are you tracking with me> It is better that you be lonely now than for you to get married to and that will teach your kids everything b the way of Jesus" -Matt Chandler

So a couple of nights ago, I read that and HELLO ASHLEE! It was a big reality check for myself.  So I know I've been dealing with this for a while now. I have always been attracted to Christian Guys. The guys who love Jesus, worship him, but aren't at a point where they are mature enough to be the man of the relationship. So i decided to figure out some key points in what really makes a Christian boy a Godly man. To figure this out, I dove into the Bible for some key verses and I also looked at a few of the most Godly men I know; those being my father and grandfathers.

• When I thought about those Godly men in my life, I didn't think about how spiritually sound they were by the words they said but how they live their lives. I think this one is a HUGE indicator. Christian boys can speak the talk like no ones business. That's what has always gotten me before. They know exactly what to say, they have so much of the Bible memorized, they know how to make it appear like they are a Godly man but there is no action to their spiritual talk. 
• My father would do anything for my mother, sister, and I. He loves Jesus and he doesn't speak the "spiritual lingo" instead it's how he lives his life. That's how I know he's  a Godly man.
• A Godly man is someone who doesn't spend a summer filling up facebook or twitter with ridiculous "spiritual lingo" but rather gives up his summer to help less fortunate kids and love them like Jesus would love them.
• After watching my grandpa and the way he respects my grandma, it shows that he loves her because Jesus loves him. 
• When I thought about the Godly men in my life, they didn't fake it. They were legit about their emotions.
• My dad and I are very similar and when we get on our high horses we can fight...... He likes to be right and I like to be right (he usually was right) My dad and I might be yelling over a math problem and my mother thinking world war three was upon us, but at the end, I could sit by my dad on the couch and know everything was fine. He had grace. We might be in the largest yelling match but in the end, his grace and forgiveness, and his love was what showed. 
• A guy I know, who I think is a Godly man, puts what he feels on facebook. If it's been a crappy day, he isn't ashamed to put it, but it's after a cool down period that he relaxes and moves on. 
• I say this because you shouldn't have to fake it that you're a good Christian. I mean seriously? No one is a good christian, so why pretend you are? In my opinion a Godly man is someone who is honest....who is real.
• When I thought about the Godly men in my life, they didn't boast. 
• My dad, I think is an amazing pastor. I have watched that man lead many people to Christ. I have watched him keep a church going, when he was the only one on staff. I have watched him start a church from scratch and keep it running. I have watched my daddy do all those things and more and NEVER once did he brag. Never once did he post his accomplishments on facebook or twitter. NEVER once did he say look at me, instead he was just doing his job, and he knows his reward comes later, in heaven.
• A guy I know, who I think is a Godly man, gave up his entire summer to work at a camp, but never posted it all over facebook for a pat on the back but rather is doing his job as the Lord called him too and is also serving in other countries.
• I think that if you have to brag about your accomplishments then you aren't living for Jesus fully but there is still some in there for yourself. 
• When I thought of the Godly men in my life, they didn't hid their sins. 
• I have seen relationships with guys, where it resulted in sin..... the biggest one, was just hiding an entire relationship. Not acknowledging they were dating and keeping everything hush hush. It's the a "I'll call you at night babe, but we wont' tell anybody tomorrow" Then thing that broke my heart was that these were supposedly "godly men" but they were acting as if they were small boys. 
• A Godly man isn't going to hide from his sin. We all fall short of the glory of God. We are all going to mess up and sin, but it's when we pretend that we're perfect, is when we get in trouble. Or my favorite..."I sinned so I'm gonna cover it up by talking the spiritual lingo like no ones business, to cover my but, and so no one is suspicious". I mean get real! No one is perfect, we all screw up, but it's when you can admit you screwed up, that you have taken a step to growing up.
• It's not so much hiding from the sin that makes my skin crawl, but continuing to keep sinning.... a Godly man takes the step to demolish the sin from his life by resting fully on Jesus Christ as his strength, no longer the world, the church leaders, or the world around him. He says NO MORE, and works every day to stop the devil from attacking him again. (he won't succeed, because we are human but he works hard to not fall back)
• When I thought about the Godly men in my life, they didn't rule over women or look down on them.
• My daddy and momma are a team. My dad doesn't tell my mom to cook him dinner or to do the laundry. My daddy doesn't rule over my momma. They live life as a team. They work together. My dad respects my mother and knows she is one heck of a strong woman. Heck during the summers my dad was gone on youth trips a lot during my childhood and my momma held down the fort.
• I think Christian boys think they are to be in charge of their women. That women are to be in the kitchen barefoot making babies. WRONG! God made women not from Adams foot to be walked on, not his hand to be handled, but his rib to live life beside him. 
• A true Godly man respects and honors his wife as Christ did the Church. Do you honestly think Jesus would of told the church, "I work all day for you, the least you can do is have supper on the table"? NO he wouldn't. Christ treated the church with up-most respect. It was his love of his life. His best friend. His partner. 
• When I thought about the Godly men in my life, they honor purity.
• This one is plain and simple. A Godly man is to not only keep himself accountable in the relationship but to keep the relationship accountable. He's not going to pressure you to do stuff that you don't want to do, and he respects your boundaries. 

So with all that said, I know that I can't settle for a Christian boy anymore. I'm done dating Christian boys. I'm done looking for Christian boys. I'm looking for a Godly man. I know God has a Godly man out there for me who is everything I've ever wanted or more, but I have to be patient and become the Godly woman he needs. I hope this makes sense. I went to lunch with a friend today, and we had a long talk about this, and it got me thinking. And you know when I think I write. :)

So my challenge: Girls find yourself a Godly man not a Christian boy. And guys, if you think you're leaning more to a being a Christian boy, I hope you fix some things to be a Godly man. :)

Matt Chandler said it best in the quote I started off with. Take that to heart. 

Spirit-Guided Relationships: Wives and Husbands

21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord.23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church.

24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.t27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault.28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself.29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church.

30 And we are members of his body.31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”t32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one.

33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Ephesians 5: 21-33

Love Is the Greatest

1 If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.2 If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing.

3 If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it;t but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.

7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

1 Corinthians 13:1-7

Daily Thoughts.

So since last night my mind hasn't stopped running about the future......and not one of those mindsets on, idk what the future holds, I just wish God would tell me already, or I hate not knowing.......but rather I am excited about the future, but I know I need to make some adjustment to my life before anything in the future can take place.

So if you ask my parents, the three games I played as a child, they would tell you.... 1. House 2. School 3. Mud pie shop (third one isn't important just funny) 

After we had a substantial amount of rain, we had this shed where momma had her candle business and there was a walk way behind it. So i would make this area a "shop" and make and sell mud pies. We had some bush with berries on it, and so those would be the sprinkles. I didn't get to play it much, but when i did OH BOY!

Okay back to the point of this blog.... The two first things I played were house and school. Since i can remember which is about four.... I played house like no ones business. I would have a baby doll and come up with elaborate stories in my head. My husband would be like my daddy (in the ministry) and I would have anywhere from two to four babies. I loved playing it and couldn't wait till it became a reality. Little did I know when I was four, that it would take awhile for that to become a reality.

So why do I mention playing house? Well because I know in the future I will be married and have a family. (boy oh boy can i tell you i'm excited) I have always had my life planned out (my way) but over the past twenty-four hours, I have realized that God had HUGE plans for me, my future spouse, and my future children. I also realized I'm just 21. Although I'd like to be married by 22 and my first kid at 24, I know God is going to rock my world when I meet my hunky man or finally realize who he is..... and it will be perfect timing. GOD'S timing. I want to be the wife in Proverbs 31. I want my husband and I to live life for the sheer purpose of serving Jesus Christ. I want to marry a man who is called to the ministry (and who loves baseball lol) so we can serve along side each other. I want the man who I can just sit on the couch with and watch the Texas Rangers on summer nights and totally love it! I know people think I'm crazy, but that's one of the things I'm sooooo excited for.....watching baseball with my boo! I want to have my children grow up like I did. In a house that was fun, loving, strict, and laid back. I want to raise my children the way my parents raised my sister and I. Letting us make our own decisions but at the same time teaching us about Jesus Christ. Never holding us back and letting us fill all of our dreams. If I can say one thing about my upraising was that my parents rocked! They never held me back, if anything they have pushed me and encouraged me to fill any of my dreams I might have. I want to raise me children like that!

The second game I played was school. I loved playing school and as soon as my little sister was able to walk, she was in my "classroom". We had this extra living area in our house that we called the computer room. It was a big room and I would make desks and assign Erin to do homework.

ERIN::: I am sorry for doing that to you but thanks for being a trooper!

As soon as I stepped into Mrs. Turmans kindergarten classroom, I knew I was suppose to be a teacher. So at five I heard God's calling. It has never changed. I get frustrated with my major almost every day because the classes are STUPID, but I am so excited to see twenty little faces in my class and given the opportunity to teach them. The most rewarding thing is, I just don't want to teach them math, science, reading, writing, and social studies but I want them to know I love them, but it isn't my love, but Jesus Christ through me. I want to love on my future students like Jesus loved on the children in Luke 18:16 (NLT) "Then Jesus called for the children and said to the disciples, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children". No child will enter my room and not be given love, gracy, mercy, and forgiveness. I want my students to see Jesus through me. I want to teach in a public school in the metorplex (inner-city) , so that the children who don't have good home lives can see Jesus through me and maybe just maybe get off the streets. I will just state this now I will not put my kids in private school or in a place that secludes them from the world. We are called to be apart of the world and so my children will be in the world. "Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it." Proverbs 22:6 (NLT). I also won't homeschool my children because I don't want to be with them all the time :p I want them to see the world and not me all the time. OMG poor kids if they have to see me. 

((I'm not bashing private school or homeschool it's just not my style.))

So why am I writing this? Well for a few reasons

1. I need to stop trying to justify why a guy is right for me. I will just know it when he comes into my life. It will come natural, not forced, not fake, but true love.....because it will be of God.
2. As much as I want to be mommy, it will come and life will be perfect.
3. My mission field is a classroom in an inner city in the metroplex. That's my calling. I am also called to work with inner city kids in a church setting, and mission trips in the summer during my summer break. All that will fall into place!
4. As much as I am sick of the single life, I embrace it and I know that God is going to rock my world when the time is right. I am going to enjoy life and when the time is right, I will thank Jesus for letting me enjoy this stage of life (single living)


So in twenty-four hours my head has been going crazy but in a good way! I'm excited to see what happens but I am going to focus on the now!

Mission Arlington

HEY!!! 


So I HAVE to tell you about my weekend!! This weekend has been planned since January and I have looked forward to it all semester!! We even started a bible study in January for it! This weekend = Amazing-ness! 




So why was it so amazing?? Well let me tell you!


Myself and five of my girlfriends loaded up two cars with food, water, work clothes, church clothes, and  bibles! We left San Angelo at 1 on Friday and drove to Mineral Wells. We hung out with my family and prepared for the next day (that's when my excitement kicks in) but before I can tell you about Saturday, I have to finish Friday. I haven't felt my life so complete before. I had Jesus (duh!), my family, plus my amazing beautiful best friends with me all in one house!!! PERFECTION! okay now moving on......




SATURDAY!!


We woke up at 5:00a.m. (if you aren't familiar with this time of day, it's still dark outside and many places are still closed) We were on the road by 5:45 on our way to Arlington, TX. We went to downtown Arlington and went to a place called Mission Arlington. We got there around 7 and were put to work by 7:15. We weren't sure what we were going to do, we just knew we were there to be the hands and feet of Christ. We were hoping for lots of interaction and getting to "preach" the gospel. Well.....


We got put in a clothes room.  We were given instructions to pack up winter clothes and load them on the truck and then hang the clothes that needed to be hung....easy right?!? WRONG! the clothes just kept coming in full force, we could never catch up and it was a bit overwhelming and discouraging. I could tell my girls were getting frustrated. 6 girls plus some of the girls assigned to mission Arlington to complete their community service in one room that wasn't well ventilated was a tad exhausting.... so around 11:30 we decided to go find a place downtown to have a picnic and regain our composser..... 
side note, thank you to Wynell and Kelli for providing our food! It was delicious and a huge stress taken off of us, and it also enabled us to do more work and not search or go out and buy food!!
Hey girls it's almost lunchtime which means you're about halfway done! Keep it up! Remember to work as though you're working for God not man! YOU ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE!! Keep up the good work ladies! Remember the harvest is great but the workers are few!!
Ms. Tillie is probably in her late seventies early eighties. She founded Mission Arlington. It started off as an apartment complex, but people kept coming to her in need, so she opened up a food pantry, and clothes closet, and drop off. It has now grown to have medical center, dental center, child care, a church building, furniture barn, Christmas store, and so much more! She and her son run it. They said on average every day 1,000 people walk through the doors for help plus during Christmas time they serve 3,000 people and share Luke 2 (Christmas story) in six different languages!!! Ms. Tillie, is still just as active, hoping into big semi trailers and unloading and loading like she was twenty! Amazing woman and STRONG!
Each of the 130 kids had a bible and highlighted, wrote a note, and then gave it to a stranger. One girl gave me her bible she had been studying out of! WHAT A BLESSING! Kara and Kayla also received one. 


So as we were sitting at lunch, I asked what the girls thought.... many said they weren't expecting this and that we were actually going to be "preaching" the gospel. Well at that time one of our friends, who couldn't go on the trip due to health issues last minute sent us this text message....


So reading that, it hit us, we might not be "preaching" the gospel but we are helping someone else do it.... If we weren't folding and hanging clothes then that would take someone out from the front lines and maybe lose an opportunity to tell someone about Jesus..... So we were prepared to spend the rest of the day in that room working like it was the last job on the planet....


We got back to find a few more girls in there assigned from the courts, and it was tight quarters. The clothes had quadrupled and it was miserable..... I finally just prayed, and asked God if I should go talk to Ms. Tillie about a new job. (He said yes as clear as day)....... I walked into her office, and before the words could come out of my mouth, she said "I've been waiting for yall, ready for a new job? Go get the girls!"




SO back to our day.... She told us 130 fourth and fifth graders were about to walk through the door and they needed group leaders, to help lead them in working....... Can you say God's timing is perfect?!?!
We are all education majors and really wanted to hang out with kids..... So Ms. Tillie told us to take them to a parking lot and split them up into groups, then we were each given jobs.....Emily's and my group of 30 kids were taken back to the clothes closet -_-. lol i was like REALLY??!?! lol. but the kids worked HARD!!!


I loved seeing them work so hard to get a job done, they only worked for an hour but they worked hard. You could see sweat and concentration trying to complete a job.


Taylor and Jill's group organized school supplies and bagged candy.
Kayla's group cleaned the church building.
Kara's group had to lug water to a storage building. 


When it was all done and the kids were pooped they were still saying scripture! The two they kept saying were "Acts 1:18" and "Micah 6:8". 




When we were done with the kiddos we were put out to unload the cars of stuff coming in for donations. We were working with the the kids and adults serving community service hours. These folks were rough. They have had a hard life and chose not so smart lifestyles. Hearing their stories broke my heart, but i told the girls work with a big smile on your face and show Jesus to them.....


Well sure enough the first reaction wasn't positive but during our two and half hours out there, they came around and we were able to work aside them. They were shocked people would drive five hours to come and serve because they just wanted to!




When we left we headed to the Texas Rangers game and had a blast!!! (Jill, Kara, Taylor, and I were on the jumbo scream dancing like dorks)




We got home around midnight and were finally in bed by 1:00 (that's being up, working, no sleep, in the heat for 20 hours)


But we weren't too grouchy or tired. I really think we were just totally pumped to be serving the Lord!!




Sunday (today)
We went to my dad's church and then made it back to Angelo around 4:30!


It was an amazing weekend! I have learned so much about these girls and myself! It was amazing to serve the Lord with the most amazing best friends I have ever had!!




SO real quick here is what the Lord taught me::


Our verse was "Where you go I'll go" -Ruth 1:16. 


1. If you have read this blog before, you'll know I really don't like San Angelo but I know this is where God has put me, so I will go and be here for he next eight months serving Christ here in San Angelo (good thing I have my girls here)
2. After planning this mission trip and executing it, I have a love for doing this stuff, and i realized I can't wait to work with my husband doing stuff like this, but it will be God's timing.
3. I am called to Arlington, Texas (this weekend was just a confirmation)
4. God has grown me a lot, even when I wasn't a big fan of him.... I am 21 now and almost out on my own (no more college). He has big things in store for me and this weekend just showed it!




SO i hope you enjoyed this blog (if you read all of it). Sorry it was long, I got excited! Thank you for your prayers. Love to all!! Enjoy some pics from our trip!

In Front of Mission Arlington!

the clothes closet. 

Group of kiddos! 

Ms. Tillie!

A few of my sweet girls in my group!

the sweet girl who gave me her bible!

At Brazos Pointe Church

 Thank you Jill, Kara, Taylor, Kayla, and Emily for loving Jesus, for being amazing friends, and serving Jesus this weekend!!! I love yall!! 

Broke Down on the Side of the Bed.

Hey guys! Long time no talk, sorry this semester has been crazy. Let me update you on a few things real quick so you know how life is going.

•  I'm doing really well in classes this semester! 
• Two weeks till i'm done! Pretty pumped. 
• I got a little promotion at work and still love my job.
•  I have found a group of girls, who have saved my life, so to speak.
•  I turned 21 and had my very first alcoholic beverage.
•  I am now in charge of Upward Cheerleading here in San Angelo!
•  I move into my first apartment in two weeks!
•  I leave for Kenya in just 3 months! WOOPIE 

 So there's a quick update on my life. Just some of the main points.... but here is why i am writing.... i'm going to be very honest here, so bare with me.

 Since I was a little girl I have had my whole life mapped out. I was to be engaged in college, find the love of my life, and shortly after graduation get married. I was going to wait exactly two years before I had my first child. I had so many details of my life planned out. It was my perfect life.......but read clearly it was MY perfect life. I have always prayed God would comply to my life and that my life would magically be just like i have planned, and I would say it's God's way, but in all reality that's just not the case.......


 So the week before my 21st birthday, it all came crashing down and I got the biggest reality check I've ever gotten. I was not going to get married by the time I graduated college, I don't even know who my husband will be. There is a possibility I will have to live alone the first year of my teaching career, there is a chance that I won't meet "the one" till i get to Arlington. So when I realized that, I shut down. Now I need you to pay attention the word shut, because that's exactly what I did... For almost a month now I've been shut down. Off mode. I have been extremely unhappy, on the verge of depressed. In all reality I was freaking pissed at God.(keep reading, i'm gonna jump around)


 The crazy thing is, I am also totally in love with Jesus at the same time. I can't tell you why or how I had both emotions but i did. God is sending me to Kenya in July, and the more i get to talk to people about it, or get trip info, I just find so much joy in God. I also have been blessed to lead an amazing bible study, where these girls and I really dive into the word and invest so much of ourselves in each other. I love seeing God work in them, and that makes me fall more in love with God, but while i'm so giddy with God I am also so livid with him.


 So why am I angry with God? plain and simple, my plan didn't work out, I am not a fan of San Angelo, I miss my church back home, the one church i loved in San Angelo was taken from me, i'm alone.... so I got angry.....

For almost a month now, I haven't opened my bible, except to lead bible study (hypocritical huh?) My prayers have been shallow. I pray for my family and girls but past that my prayers aren't really heartfelt. SO today at work I must have daydreamed and during that I had a panic attack, nothing major (I've had quite a few this semester) they usually make me sick but today i caught it early. So tonight I couldn't stop coughing. It was painful, i couldn't catch my breath. I was watching the Rangers game (no surprise there) and when it was finished. I grabbed my bible and opened it up for the first time in a long time........ I was called to read Zephaniah. Why? don't have a clue.....



 There's a verse in that book, that has been on my mind since my birthday. Zephaniah 3:17. I read it at bible study last week, but it wasn't till tonight I put meaning behind it.


 "For the LORD your God is living among you (Ashlee he is right beside you)


 He is a mighty savior. (Ashlee he can do anything!) 


He will take delight in you with gladness (Ashlee he things you are amazing, he made you and loves you) 


With his love, he will calm all your fears. (Ashlee don't fret, God is going to take those fears, let him have them)


 He will rejoice over you with joyful songs." (Ashlee he's with you always and is singing the song of your heart.) 


 So why do i write this long blog??? I feel like Christians make Christianity seem easy or they become holy rollers, and it causes a weird disbelief in Christianity. I feel like Christians aren't real anymore. We hide our sins, our failures, and we act like we have it together by posting crap on facebook or twitter that is only shallow bologna. I hate it! I want to be real with you!!!

 I haven't read my bible in a month!!! But you know what? God still delights in me. He knows I was angry, He knows I was frustrated, he knows I was confused, but he loved me regardless.

 THE CRAZY THING IS:::: he still used me.
 Don't you dare think that because you have messed up or haven't been the A+ Christian student that God is just going to let you wiggle around by yourself. HECK NO!! He uses you. He uses you through your inconsistencies, through your sin, and through you in general!

 So with all that said, I broke down tonight on the side of my bed. I admitted I was angry and I reached out and touched the cloak of Jesus. Sometimes you feel like you're too far gone, but let me assure you friend. God is never out of reach!!! So where ever you are, if you are like me and just plum frustrated with God (and yes that is okay to say) just break down. Sometimes that's the best thing to do. I am not going to lie and say I am H-A-PP-Y with God right now, but I'm done shutting him out and with HIS help I can overcome my feelings.

 Don't fake it till you feel it, be honest with yourself and God. Just cry out!! I love you all! :)

Not a Fan! Let's take a stand!

I have been pretty disgusted with people, I know not Christlike, but let me explain!

First off, know that I love children, I love missions, I do not live on this planet for myself.....but for Jesus Christ.



Okay with that said, let's get started..... If you are on facebook or any social media (which i assume since you are reading this, you are) You have seen the videos, posters, pictures for Kony 2012.... If you have just seen them and haven't watched the video, take a minute and watch it real quick, then keep reading. (it's posted at the bottom of this blog).

If you have seen it, you know that there has been a man, who for the last 26 years, has abducted, raped, killed, abused, etc 31,000 small children..... the boys are made into child soldiers and the girls are forced into sex slavery.....just in case you don't understand the word children, go to any local park on any given day and look. (they are small, innocent, helpless, little humans) For 26 years this man has gotten away with this, and finally something is being done about it...... Praise Jesus! But big whoop if we don't do something...

Let me explain:
We have made awareness by copying the link and posting it on our page, some of you have bought the action kit, become sponsors.... but how do OUR lives change?????? now I am not just talking Kony 2012, but I am talking about the thousands upon thousands of situations that are like this one, that haven't been brought to the public's attention.

As a Christian, I feel a lot of responsibility..... No, I'm not saying that I made Kony do this, but why haven't we, as Christians, been more progressive with getting out the good news of Christ out there........ Crap! Why haven't we been more progressive with getting the good news of Christ out there with our own country.

God called us to be his ambassadors, his servants, his hands and feet.......yet we worry about shoes and getting our hair did (yes, i'm guilty). We live in a very plush life, whether the government has it together or not, we live in a country where we can walk outside, without having to look over our shoulder from a man trying to abduct our children, rape women, or kill.... We have got to get a reality check people...


Part of me, I guess, since I have been out of America and have seen, this hits home HARD, but we have got to STOP STOP STOP being selfish Americans. We don't deserve that we were born in this country.... we were blessed. We could be one of those children who have been abducted in Uganda.

It' says in Acts 1:8 "But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you. And you will be my witnesses, telling people about me everywhere—in Jerusalem, throughout Judea, in Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” .......Let me break that down for you in today's time.

Jerusalem: your home town!
Judea: your state!
Samaria: your country!
ends of the earth: other countries!



So how do we do that?

first off, for me, I'm a college student, and this semester have been given the opportunity to lead a bible study for education majors (my major)! It's been incredible! I've seen girls come to the Lord, grow, and lead each other to Christ! BOOM! God is awesome

second off, for me, I'm a college student, and within my bible study we are going on a mission trip, to Arlington to help and serve that community.

third off, for me, I'm a college student, I am going to Arizona Saturday, for spring break, that will be my mission field.....maybe not to preach but to show the Love of God to people i encounter.

fourth off, for me, I'm a college student, I am going to Kenya in July to work and serve orphans and to show them the love of Christ.


I am a college student who lives on this earth to serve Jesus Christ, what are you? Who are you? What are you doing? Are you taking life for granted? Are you doing something?


I'm not here to preach but just to stress the importance of awareness. As believers in Jesus Christ the Kony 2012 video or the multitude of videos on youtube of starving chidlren or countries at war, they should mess us up! They should make us want to do something..... if not, then we need to re-evaluate a lot of things in our lives.

This Kony 2012 video, is not just a video, it's a real life event happening. Now I am not here to get you to understand Kony 2012, it's just a real life event happening that I know you all can relate too because you've seen the video.


It's our time to step up, people! Stop waiting for someone else to do it! It's our time! It's our time! It's our time! Let's go!!! We are God's hands and feet. It's time we stop wasting time and go to work! We aren't living on this earth for us! So we got to stop acting like it. Start with your campus.... It is totally possible to have a radical college movement to spread the word of God, but it has to start with us! Lets go!

27 million

Have you ever thought about what 27 million looks like? Can you even imagine 27 million?

that's one million dollars, times that by 27...can you imagine that?

okay look at it this way. The population in the 2010 census of Texas was 25,145,561. The population of W. Virginia was 1,855,364. If you add those together and subtract 925 people.....you'd have 27 million people.


okay look at it this way. You'd have travel the circumference of the Earth 1,084 3/10 times to make it around 27 million miles.

okay look at it this way. An average school bus can be totally filled up, including the seats and other stuff in a bus, with 500,000 golf balls. You'd need 54 school buses filled each with 500,000 golf balls to equal 27 million.

okay look at it this way. An adult male elephant weights 6 tons (there's 2,000lbs in a ton). You'd need 2,250 elephants each weight 6 tons to equal 27million.


Can you picture it? Now think of it this way. 27 million people in this world are slaves.......yes, slaves. The shocking part is that it's not just in third world countries but right here in our own backyard.

Human trafficking is the illegal trade of human beings for the purposes of reproductive slavery, commercial sexual exploitation, forced labor, or a modern-day form of slavery.


Now imagine 44,000 college students, ranging from 18-25 years old. Hearing this terrible fact. Know that college students are dirt poor. Know that college students value our dollars. Well they raised $3,066,670 at Passion2012, to help end slavery.


The thing is, if 44,000 college students can help end slavery by collecting 3 million dollars. I think the rest of us should step up......... One way is to just to pray. There are teams,safe houses, rescues going on daily, to save people from their living hell. So pray. The other way is to give.


But I'm not here to talk about giving. I'm here to wake you up a bit. For those of us who live in America, we think we live in the best nation, we got rid of slavery years and years ago. Did we? There is sex slaves in any big city in the United States. We are naive to think it doesn't exist here.

I'm not here to talk about the United States and our naive mindsets though. I'm just here to wake you up a bit. When people are rescued they are in such bad shape, that telling them about Jesus, is HARD! If you watched or attended Passion2012, a lady told a story about a slave her team rescued. The girl said something on the lines of, "if your god is great and can save, why didn't you come sooner".

I'm not here to talk about a slave rescue. I'm just here to wake you up a bit. We lay our heads on pillows in our nice houses and security, while there are girls walking the streets for their pimps. Men in rice mills working for no money in terrible conditions getting beaten, children being used for all kinds of horrible things. We are sleeping comfortably but they are living in hell.

I'm not here to talk about the jobs of the slaves. I'm just here to wake you up a bit. In the world there are roughly 27 MILLION slaves. That are desperate for help, to escape not just from their earthly masters but to meet a heavenly one. Yet we sit here and pretend it doesn't exist.

Christine Caine, is an amazing speaker. She talked at Passion2012 and said something that will be forever in my heart. We live in light. We are God's light and we live in light. That's not our job. We are to be the light in the darkness. So many people are so afraid to help the 27 million, because it is dangerous, but why fear death? Jesus didn't, he hung on that tree fearlessly. Can we not go and help those who are living in this hell on earth, being treated like garbage? Why are we so afraid?



that song was played at passion. There are 27 million people suffering and it's our time to rise up. (this is the most the world has seen)

I'm not here to change your mind or tell you anything. Just here to wake you up a bit.