"Can I say something to young ladies here? I 'm trying to pick my words carefully here. Your husband, whoever he is, single ladies, will have an unbelievable amount of influence over your sons and daughters in regards to spiritual things. If you want your children to love Jesus deeply, hold out for a man that is Godly. And let me tell you this: I am well aware that Godly men are rare. Lots of neat Christian boys, not a lot of Godly men. And we're working our tails off for you to try to develop someone into that. But don't settle, because it's better that you be lonely now than you be married and lonely later. Are you tracking with me> It is better that you be lonely now than for you to get married to and that will teach your kids everything b the way of Jesus" -Matt Chandler
So a couple of nights ago, I read that and HELLO ASHLEE! It was a big reality check for myself. So I know I've been dealing with this for a while now. I have always been attracted to Christian Guys. The guys who love Jesus, worship him, but aren't at a point where they are mature enough to be the man of the relationship. So i decided to figure out some key points in what really makes a Christian boy a Godly man. To figure this out, I dove into the Bible for some key verses and I also looked at a few of the most Godly men I know; those being my father and grandfathers.
- When I thought about those Godly men in my life, I didn't think about how spiritually sound they were by the words they said but how they live their lives. I think this one is a HUGE indicator. Christian boys can speak the talk like no ones business. That's what has always gotten me before. They know exactly what to say, they have so much of the Bible memorized, they know how to make it appear like they are a Godly man but there is no action to their spiritual talk.
- My father would do anything for my mother, sister, and I. He loves Jesus and he doesn't speak the "spiritual lingo" instead it's how he lives his life. That's how I know he's a Godly man.
- A Godly man is someone who doesn't spend a summer filling up facebook or twitter with ridiculous "spiritual lingo" but rather gives up his summer to help less fortunate kids and love them like Jesus would love them.
- After watching my grandpa and the way he respects my grandma, it shows that he loves her because Jesus loves him.
- When I thought about the Godly men in my life, they didn't fake it. They were legit about their emotions.
- My dad and I are very similar and when we get on our high horses we can fight...... He likes to be right and I like to be right (he usually was right) My dad and I might be yelling over a math problem and my mother thinking world war three was upon us, but at the end, I could sit by my dad on the couch and know everything was fine. He had grace. We might be in the largest yelling match but in the end, his grace and forgiveness, and his love was what showed.
- A guy I know, who I think is a Godly man, puts what he feels on facebook. If it's been a crappy day, he isn't ashamed to put it, but it's after a cool down period that he relaxes and moves on.
- I say this because you shouldn't have to fake it that you're a good Christian. I mean seriously? No one is a good christian, so why pretend you are? In my opinion a Godly man is someone who is honest....who is real.
- When I thought about the Godly men in my life, they didn't boast.
- My dad, I think is an amazing pastor. I have watched that man lead many people to Christ. I have watched him keep a church going, when he was the only one on staff. I have watched him start a church from scratch and keep it running. I have watched my daddy do all those things and more and NEVER once did he brag. Never once did he post his accomplishments on facebook or twitter. NEVER once did he say look at me, instead he was just doing his job, and he knows his reward comes later, in heaven.
- A guy I know, who I think is a Godly man, gave up his entire summer to work at a camp, but never posted it all over facebook for a pat on the back but rather is doing his job as the Lord called him too and is also serving in other countries.
- I think that if you have to brag about your accomplishments then you aren't living for Jesus fully but there is still some in there for yourself.
- When I thought of the Godly men in my life, they didn't hid their sins.
- I have seen relationships with guys, where it resulted in sin..... the biggest one, was just hiding an entire relationship. Not acknowledging they were dating and keeping everything hush hush. It's the a "I'll call you at night babe, but we wont' tell anybody tomorrow" Then thing that broke my heart was that these were supposedly "godly men" but they were acting as if they were small boys.
- A Godly man isn't going to hide from his sin. We all fall short of the glory of God. We are all going to mess up and sin, but it's when we pretend that we're perfect, is when we get in trouble. Or my favorite..."I sinned so I'm gonna cover it up by talking the spiritual lingo like no ones business, to cover my but, and so no one is suspicious". I mean get real! No one is perfect, we all screw up, but it's when you can admit you screwed up, that you have taken a step to growing up.
- It's not so much hiding from the sin that makes my skin crawl, but continuing to keep sinning.... a Godly man takes the step to demolish the sin from his life by resting fully on Jesus Christ as his strength, no longer the world, the church leaders, or the world around him. He says NO MORE, and works every day to stop the devil from attacking him again. (he won't succeed, because we are human but he works hard to not fall back)
- When I thought about the Godly men in my life, they didn't rule over women or look down on them.
- My daddy and momma are a team. My dad doesn't tell my mom to cook him dinner or to do the laundry. My daddy doesn't rule over my momma. They live life as a team. They work together. My dad respects my mother and knows she is one heck of a strong woman. Heck during the summers my dad was gone on youth trips a lot during my childhood and my momma held down the fort.
- I think Christian boys think they are to be in charge of their women. That women are to be in the kitchen barefoot making babies. WRONG! God made women not from Adams foot to be walked on, not his hand to be handled, but his rib to live life beside him.
- A true Godly man respects and honors his wife as Christ did the Church. Do you honestly think Jesus would of told the church, "I work all day for you, the least you can do is have supper on the table"? NO he wouldn't. Christ treated the church with up-most respect. It was his love of his life. His best friend. His partner.
- When I thought about the Godly men in my life, they honor purity.
- This one is plain and simple. A Godly man is to not only keep himself accountable in the relationship but to keep the relationship accountable. He's not going to pressure you to do stuff that you don't want to do, and he respects your boundaries.
So with all that said, I know that I can't settle for a Christian boy anymore. I'm done dating Christian boys. I'm done looking for Christian boys. I'm looking for a Godly man. I know God has a Godly man out there for me who is everything I've ever wanted or more, but I have to be patient and become the Godly woman he needs. I hope this makes sense. I went to lunch with a friend today, and we had a long talk about this, and it got me thinking. And you know when I think I write. :)
So my challenge: Girls find yourself a Godly man not a Christian boy. And guys, if you think you're leaning more to a being a Christian boy, I hope you fix some things to be a Godly man. :)
Matt Chandler said it best in the quote I started off with. Take that to heart.
Ephesians 5: 21-33
Spirit-Guided Relationships: Wives and Husbands
1 Corinthians 13:1-7